Three Samples of PEE essay: Money can/cannot buy happiness

First two essays were scored a 60 (content) /40 (grammar).  Both students were in my regular class, and they were NOT in the gifted program.

Written by a male student(60/40)

Many individuals seek to gain a vast amount of wealth. The money they make unlocks countless opportunities and comforts of life. However, one thing that money cannot buy is happiness.

Throughout the years, many successful celebrities have suffered from depression, and some even committed suicide. For instance, Robin Williams, a famous comedian, took his own life on August 11, 2014. Although the rich have an abundance of the objects they desire, they are also faced with a lot of stress. Numerous celebrities are faced with countless criticisms every day. Everything they say in interviews will be open for the public to judge, forcing them to choose their words carefully.  The successful entrepreneurs are faced with a different kind of stress. At work, they are faced with a number of crucial decisions each day.  Various other tasks such as organizing company wide meetings will further increase the amount of time they work. Many CEOs and other officers of high positions will need to plan for the future of the company, and assign tasks to keep the company running. Both of which will require a significant amount of consideration, as it will be the deciding factor of the company’s growth.

In addition to stress, many of the rich will have a limited amount of time to send with family. For instance, numerous extremely successful doctors are fully booked for months. This will decrease their amount of free time significantly. The CEO of a company needs to travel to different branches of the corporation frequently. Even celebrities are required to travel, as they need to go on tours for money.

Perhaps more importantly, money cannot buy love and friendship. Every happy, successful individual are supported by friends and family. Friendship and love are two of the most classic emotions the human processes. Both of which shares a common trait, they are both built through time. Human beings spend time with others that they can relate to. Through their time together, they build friendship, and sometimes love. When everything else fails, their friends and family are still there for them. Furthermore, most people enjoy the time spent with friends and family.

Money cannot buy happiness. Although money allows one to do anything they desire, it cannot buy love, time, or friendship.

Written by a female student (60/40)

Money purchases all the necessities to live as well as luxury items. However, if one possesses all the money in the world, does it make that person the happiest human? Money can buy a countless amount of items, but it definitely cannot purchase happiness.

Being rich can result in taking everything for granted, as well as not even thinking about all the hardships that others are constantly facing. For instance, those in poverty would gratefully take a shiny, crisp apple, instead of the latest Apple phone. In addition, at less fortunate countries such as Ethiopia, many conclude that their life is meaningful. Mother Teresa was poor, but devoted her life to aid others. Furthermore, wealthy people tend to think that everything will remain at the same place or if an object breaks, it is always possible to purchase another. Since one is too occupied in a rich lifestyle, it is unlikely that they will understand the lifestyle of others. However, it is impossible to buy a caring family, which many people can take for granted. Consequently, when it is abruptly taken away, no amount of cash can bring them back. It is pointless to have a lot of money if one is not even happy at the end. Moreover, there are so many people in need, but having all the money for the sake of one’s satisfaction is unnecessary. 

In addition to this, wealth is like a barrier separating people from the real world outside. Meeting others and sharing experiences is a way to surely make life more meaningful. In contrast, with money, one will not go outside and converse with others. It is tragic that the fortunate is too absorbed into their own money, that they are not able to experience the real world surrounding them.

A considerable amount of people seek as well as desire money, since they presume that it will bring joy. However, there are some circumstances where money has absolutely no value. It is impossible for money to buy life-long friends or a true family who appreciates you. Friends and family can unlimitedly produce joy as well as provide love and warmth into life. On the other hand, money only brings pleasure until the limit is reached. The wealthy can be as miserable and feel as poor as the less fortunate if they do not have those they care for around. Thus, the time that is spent being surrounded with those you love should be considered more valuable than any amount of money. 

 This world is not all about having the best or latest items. Possessing money can buy a big plasma television and a humongous mansion, but will purchasing these items be one of your happiest moments? Having money is just a simple desire, which can only please one to a limited extent. Ultimately, money cannot buy everlasting happiness.


Lastly, Money CAN buy happiness (scored 50/40)

Money: arguably the most important object in the world that some people love. Some say that even such an important aspect in life cannot buy happiness, but I say otherwise. Money can remove the overwhelming stress of your finances, buy you a nice and relaxing vacation and finally, can help save lives.

            Donations play a big part in many medical research facilities, and donating to these insures your finances are spent helping others. Helping others is part of our genetic code, and doing such naturally makes us feel better. Donating a dollar to Red Cross, or even a toonie to the less fortunate can make a significant difference to both of your lives. You can feel better knowing that you helped someone, while they can use that coin you handed them to buy something that provides them with even the slightest of relief, such as a sandwich or a cup of coffee. Donating to a charity is also shown to increase people’s levels of happiness, as it still helps people, just too far away for you to reach, but close enough so you can make a difference. Examples of this include the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster in Japan, or the 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake. In both examples, charities used your finances that you donate to help those in need. Medical facilities are also in need of your donations to research cures and treatments for diseases such as, cancer, HIV, Ebola, etc. It is important that you donate to these research centers to make millions happier, but this time, you won’t be left out.

            Financial worries and spoken about across the glove, and this can seriously impair the happiness of many individuals, yourself included. There are many ways to remove this, such as, getting multiple jobs, saving up in the past, but these methods include an almost unlimited source of these banknotes. It is important to remove this stress to feel happier than you currently are, and you can also help people with this problem too.

            Vacations are a wonderful way of reliving yourself from the stress of life, and again this is something that money can afford. These “breaks “are proven to relax individuals that chose to spend their money this way, rather than use then use their finances for a rug or vase. More studies have shown that learning a new skill helps increase your sense of accomplishment. Accomplishments affect your level of overall happiness, as completing something makes you feel relived, or happy. Some skills can make you feel happy, or even give you a new hobby, such as, when you learn to fly a plane, you might go on to collecting model planes. It is important to use some money in this way to help you become a happier person.

            Based on the above reasons, money can buy happiness, but only if spent in in certain ways. Spending money on yourself will not give you the results, but rather, spent it on others or go on a vacation or learn a new skill.