Sample essay from one of my former students. Well written on an odd topic from a STEM entrance exam a few years ago
Thirteen. The number has represented controversy over the years, from being unlucky to having to do with evil forces. It has also represented triumph, as thirteen is the age when you are officially a teenager [good example], and have the responsibilities and benefits of that age. Thus, my favourite number is thirteen as it has many benefits of age in the world, is one of the most widely known “unlucky” or “evil” numbers, and is a number that I believe is quite special in many other ways.
Thirteen is an age when you [start to be more] mature. Having just had my thirteenth birthday, I have yet to experience the responsibilities and benefits of this maturity, but I already know what they are. For example, you are no longer allowed to ride on a TTC bus for free when you are thirteen or older. People who have turned thirteen are also officially recognized as teenagers; the word itself is associated with both negative and positive stereotypes [be specific, give examples to explain. This paragraph should be your strongest argument]. [At age 13, when hormones bloom, some teenagers can be aggressive and rebellious, arguing constantly with parents. Just look at all the young offenders the police and school must to deal with each year] , For this, I believe that the number thirteen has a shifting respect, from good and bad, in society that I hold dear, and no other position would be better for the number than my favourite number.
I am interested in the cultures and religion of man [human, gender neutral], though not affiliated with them, and thirteen holds a place of darkness in many of these religions. There were said to be thirteen people at the Last Supper; the thirteenth trump card in a tarot deck is Death; and, according to Chinese culture, thirteen is a feminine lucky number that many household owners avoid buying [or no 13th floor in many apartment buildings or elevators]. I thought 14 is the number Chinese avoid
- good examples above
Lastly, thirteen has a score of interesting facts and coincidences. Apollo 13, the unfortunate NASA mission, was launched on April 11, 2:13 P.M. A hangman’s noose must have at least 13 knots; otherwise, it is considered inhumane. The number has also spawned some large words, such as Paraskevidekatriaphobia and Friggatriskaidekaphobia, both words for fear of Friday the Thirteenth. The US has a large involvement with the number thirteen, being everywhere from the one-dollar bill to the Great Seal of the US. Many words have thirteen letters, such as the United Kingdom, United Nations and Annuit Coeptis in the US great seal. The IP ADRESS of Xerox Corp. is 13.13.13.13. C.I.A is the 3rd letter of the alphabet plus the 9th letter of the alphabet plus the 1st is 13. Curious, isn't it. Awesome comparison
Thirteen has been the most queer number, the number which denotes many social borders, and an important cultural number. That is why it is my favourite number.
- much improved essay compared to the first one on refugees
- examples are clearly stated, but should elaborate and explain more to amplify meaning. Otherwise, it may be unclear to some readers
- The second-to-last paragraph may show a list of events instead of explaining why 13 is your lucky number. Thus, please pick at least one event to explain further
